SatCong
02-23-2005, 10:38 AM
About four years ago, I began to notice patterns in my life of which I had been aware on some level, but had never been pro-active enough to catalog or act upon. When I decided to eliminate self-destructive behaviour, I started to get serious about areas of improvement my life could stand.
I realized, among other things, I had a history of attracting alcoholic women. If there were 100 women in a room, the addict would be the one to find and charm me. This was not the only illuminating discovery for me, only one, which I use to illustrate.
Another fact was, I considered a few folks I had known since the third grade, or longer, as "friends", even tho, we had grown in different directions. One or two of these folks had shown a proclilvity for taking advantage of a situation when the opportunity for self aggrandizement presented, even when dealing with "friends". I watched them do it to others, and I tolerated them doing it to me. At some point I realized this is not what friends do.
So, I took inventory, and began to systematicly remove from my daily life, those folks who were friends in word only.
There was no truculence, only a business-like approach to streamlining relationships, and removing from my life those who did not make the grade of "friend". I guess removing from my life is not quite accurate. I still know and converse with most of these folks, but I no longer make any consideration for them over what I believe I would rather do, or how I would rather spend my time.
It has freed my time for family and actual friends, and self. Again, there was no proclamation to anyone, no stumping about how you did me wrong or you waste my time, or it's always about what you want, just a quiet shift in the bearing, then the course of my association with certain people.
Have you had to make any similar assessments in your own life, was a tough row to hoe?
SatCong
I realized, among other things, I had a history of attracting alcoholic women. If there were 100 women in a room, the addict would be the one to find and charm me. This was not the only illuminating discovery for me, only one, which I use to illustrate.
Another fact was, I considered a few folks I had known since the third grade, or longer, as "friends", even tho, we had grown in different directions. One or two of these folks had shown a proclilvity for taking advantage of a situation when the opportunity for self aggrandizement presented, even when dealing with "friends". I watched them do it to others, and I tolerated them doing it to me. At some point I realized this is not what friends do.
So, I took inventory, and began to systematicly remove from my daily life, those folks who were friends in word only.
There was no truculence, only a business-like approach to streamlining relationships, and removing from my life those who did not make the grade of "friend". I guess removing from my life is not quite accurate. I still know and converse with most of these folks, but I no longer make any consideration for them over what I believe I would rather do, or how I would rather spend my time.
It has freed my time for family and actual friends, and self. Again, there was no proclamation to anyone, no stumping about how you did me wrong or you waste my time, or it's always about what you want, just a quiet shift in the bearing, then the course of my association with certain people.
Have you had to make any similar assessments in your own life, was a tough row to hoe?
SatCong