What can you do for a friend

[Coyote]

Well, as a matter of fact, I know there is nothing I can do, but the half a bottle of scotch in me says otherwise.

I remember when I was 8, and 10, and 12 looking at all the "big" kids smoking joints or their first cigarettes out behind the corner store and thinking "man, that will never be me". Well, I was right for the most part. But I guess when they all grew up and went on to whatever it was they did, be it continuing on in a downward spiral or moving up in the world, and we were the big kids, someone had to fill the gap.

Now I'm watching kids I grew up with, kids who I played kick the can with or played ring-and-run with take meth. My attitude has always been the same; "I'll help you if you want it, because I want to, but your life is your life and I wont pry." In a sense, one of resignment. A few got so bad that in the end I alienated myself from them and got away from it. People I cared about, and do to this day. Who knows where they ended up; but they were destroying themselves so badly and so quickly; damned if I was staying on for the ride. I can only count myself lucky to have known them, when I actually knew them.

Today I got an IM from a very close friend of mine; a girl who I've known since grade 5, just a year younger than me. She was screwed up for so long, everyone worked so hard to try and help her clean up. Then her boyfriend left her (bastard).

My friend: "I just got myself some super-happy-go-lucky extamacy, gonna raise my spirits"

:headbang: ****.

I dont really know where I'm going with this but I trust the people here. Dont know who else to tell it to. :rolleyes:

I'm going to go kill the rest of this bottle and go to bed. There are braincells that remember that chatlog and I want them destroyed.

[RIKA]

Coyote, I had friends like that in high school and college. A couple ended up in prison. Three were killed in senseless accidents. Most straightened up and made something of themselves. In the beginning I became so involved with trying to help them that I was killing myself emotionally; they damn sure didn't want my help. Luckily self preservation kicked in - I made up my mind that some people either couldn't or didn't want to be helped so after an initial effort I let them live their own lives. I still care but I had to harden up so that I myself could live.

RIKA

[Magnum88C]

I lost a few friends after high school because of drugs. I don't mean smokin dope either, I mean LSD, meth and coke. Tried to help them, but as usual, they saw themselves as paragons of freedom, no one's telling them what to do. I don't know what happened to them. I'd like to think they cleaned up, but they're most likely fermenting at the bottom of the barrel of rotten apples, or dead.

[KJUN]

She was screwed up for so long, everyone worked so hard to try and help her clean up. Then her boyfriend left her (bastard).

I must have missed something? Why is he the bastard? If I was with a girl who refused to clean up after trying and trying to help, I'd leave her to. Just like we've all cut out ties to old friends so that we don't get sucked down that spiral with them. Or did I misunderstand and he was the one that got her on the drugs in the first place (not that he could be blamed for her actions unless he forced or tricked her into taking them).

Personally, I see something worse in this thread. I feel sorry for your friends (and those of the other posters). I feel sorry for my ex-friends in the same boat, but I believe it is their choice.

What bothers me is YOUR reaction to her words. Is all that alcohol going to make it any better? Will the problem NOT still be there in the morning when you sober up? Won't you just have that problem to STILL deal with in addition to any new problems that come up? Isn't taking alcohol to improve your mood just a legal way to do exactly what she did (take a drug to improve her mood)? Drinking the scotch won't help anything - it'll just delay the concern you feel while causing more problems that need to be handled.

Good gun people that can enmuerate their thoughts clearly and will speak out for liberties of themselves and others are rare. Put down the bottle, deal with this problem however you decide is best, and take care of YOURSELF. Even if this is the FIRST time you ever drank to forgive a problem (thankfully, I've never fallen into that pit even once), it isn't a good thing nor a solution. You know that, too.

KJ

[SatCong]

'Yote,
Addicts who are not ready to get clean will do ANYTHING to satisfy that addiction. It makes them liars and cheats and they have no qualms about participation in any debauchery. They will drag a white knight from his horse and sully his soul everytime. When they are ready to change, they will.
"When you meet the Devil, You do not change him, he changes you."
SatCong

[andy]

Ayn Rand said you can only help those who are close to you in spirit, and moving in the same direction. if you try to reach too far down the ladder, you get pulled off it yourself.

[andy]

Chemicals, including nicotine and alchohol, are the refuge of the weak minded.

[John in AR]

Someone who wants help, it’s good to help. But short of physical force, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want it. If you believe in god, bear in mind that even he never forced help on anyone. If he doesn’t have the right, neither do I.

If you don’t believe in god, it’s still a truism that “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”.

Call me a prick, but when I was a teenager and my father was a drunk, he slept in the ditch where he fell. I didn’t make him get drunk, and I wouldn’t take responsibility for his actions. I actually thought it was very nice of me to tell my brothers where he was, so they could go get him if they wanted.

For one of my personal soapboxes… Trying to help people who don’t really want help is THE big reason our welfare and entitlement system is so screwed. It was designed (allegedly) to help people, but too many people don’t want help. They just want the handout.

As far as drugs & alcohol, if you want to drink, drink. I had a bourbon & coke last night & don’t believe I’m less of a person for it. It’s a cheaper AND more natural sleep aid than Nyquil, Sominex, or some other chemical crap cooked up in a Phillips 66 laboratory. But “drinking” and “getting drunk” are very different things, just as “snacking” and “gluttony” are very different things. Occasional gluttony (Thanksgiving, whatever), you can get away with, but done as a lifestyle, it will kill you. Same with booze. Too much will kill you.

[John in AR]

Chemicals, including nicotine and alchohol, are the refuge of the weak minded.


Pardon the reminder, but aren’t you the one who recommended keeping amphetamines in the BOB?

[Coyote]

Fortunately I am not in the habit of "medicating" myself. Never done it before and I KNOW I wont again, not after this headache. I'm not sure where I was going with this thread either.

I appreciate the feedback though, its kind of reaffirming in a strange kind of way.

KJUN: You are right, drinking was no help. At the time it seemed like a good idea, who knows why. I tell you though, the things I could do to the pushers right now... Oh, and regarding the boyfriend, he really was a bastard. Extremely abusive, she clung to him though because there was nowhere else for her to go.

I think I'll go to the aquarium today, looking at fish is always soothing.

RIKA: I too know some people who have come to bad ends because of their habits. Whenever I mull it over I come to the conclusion that young people will always do stupid things, and some of them will die doing them. The most painful part though is knowing that they wasted their last days/hours/minutes trying to escape reality.

[KJUN]

Oh, and regarding the boyfriend, he really was a bastard. Extremely abusive, she clung to him though because there was nowhere else for her to go.
Sounds worse than a bastard. If abusive, he sounds like a candidate for sterilization. ...with sterilization via death being a possible option.
KJ

[Aslan]

Sometimes, all you can do for a friend, is be a friend. That can be one of the most difficult things in the world to be.

People make some really stupid decisions or terrible choices. You will not be able to stop them from doing so. All you are left with is being their friend.

What's already happened has happened.

You may or may not be able to influence future decisions. Accept this and be their friend. But, don't let their destructive choices destroy you - physically or emotionally.

:devil: