Smarter Gun
08-19-2005, 02:16 AM
This is amazing! Around 6:00pm this evening, I read a newswire from the capital city of San Jose in the Philippines. It appears that a family of local farmers, living in the hills about 30 miles north of the city, had discovered a nest of chupacabras; and, after a fierce fight with the adult chupas, the farmer and two of his sons managed to return to their village with one of the pups!
They’ve had this thing in their granero (barn) for almost a week, now, while waiting for a local photographer and news people to arrive from San Jose in order to authenticate the capture. In his first interview the farmer, El Senor Jose Santos, said it was very tough trying to keep the little chupa alive – Until they, finally, discovered how to feed it by allowing the little guy to suck on the children's necks! (There are 6 kids in the Santos family; and, so far, the little chupa has been doing quite well!)
Mr. and Mrs. Santos are very excited! About two years ago the local affiliate of our own, ‘National Tattletale’ magazine, known in the Philippines as, ‘El Diario – Mentiroso!’, offered a 30,000,000 peso reward for anyone who could prove the existence of one of these beasts. This is one of the reasons why the Santos family has been so secretive and taken such great pains to carefully document and photograph every single detail of this history making capture!
This morning several truckloads of presidential guardsmen arrived at the family's remote farm and, for most of the day, quarantined the entire family long with all of their possessions. To the relief of the rest of the village, Mr. & Mrs. Santos have, now, been released; but, their children remain in custody. The militiamen confiscated the little chupa; and, after assuring the Santos that they would get every- thing that was coming to them, the presidential motorcade loaded up and quickly departed for an undisclosed location assumed to be somewhere near the national military prison of, ‘El Mano Sangre’.
Somewhat surprisingly, all of the Santos six children are expected to remain in custody for an indefinite period of time. Apparently the officer-in-charge of the motorcade was especially concerned because the little chupa seemed to be unwilling to feed on anything but the Santos childrens’ necks.
Not to worry, though, because Mr. & Mrs. Santos have been told the kids will be given a special diet and checked, daily, by El Presidente's own personal physician! The family has been invited to stop by the prison to visit with the children and, as soon as it's ready, pick up their 30,000,000 peso check!
Unknown to the soldiers, though, the family’s old Brownie Instamatic camera was not confiscated, and Mr. Santos has been able to sell one snapshot of the little beast taken just before feeding time during the third day of its capture. This same photo will be out in next week’s issue of the, ‘National Tattletale’; but, you aren’t going to have to wait!
All I can say is, ‘This is one ugly little sucker!’ The Santos family says they plan on spending the reward on their first automobile - a nice new, ‘Hummer’ like the one Jose saw in an old outhouse magazine; and although it’s not exactly a problem, right now, sometime before the advent of next January’s rainy season, he, also, wants to repair the farmhouse roof.
El Senor Juan-Diego Almendoza, the Palace Minister of Information, plans to release an official statement announcing this historical capture later in the week.
Pictures don’t lie; so, here ya go!
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b57/From_ArcAngel/BabyAye-Aye.jpg
Absolutely amazing – Isn’t it!
;)
They’ve had this thing in their granero (barn) for almost a week, now, while waiting for a local photographer and news people to arrive from San Jose in order to authenticate the capture. In his first interview the farmer, El Senor Jose Santos, said it was very tough trying to keep the little chupa alive – Until they, finally, discovered how to feed it by allowing the little guy to suck on the children's necks! (There are 6 kids in the Santos family; and, so far, the little chupa has been doing quite well!)
Mr. and Mrs. Santos are very excited! About two years ago the local affiliate of our own, ‘National Tattletale’ magazine, known in the Philippines as, ‘El Diario – Mentiroso!’, offered a 30,000,000 peso reward for anyone who could prove the existence of one of these beasts. This is one of the reasons why the Santos family has been so secretive and taken such great pains to carefully document and photograph every single detail of this history making capture!
This morning several truckloads of presidential guardsmen arrived at the family's remote farm and, for most of the day, quarantined the entire family long with all of their possessions. To the relief of the rest of the village, Mr. & Mrs. Santos have, now, been released; but, their children remain in custody. The militiamen confiscated the little chupa; and, after assuring the Santos that they would get every- thing that was coming to them, the presidential motorcade loaded up and quickly departed for an undisclosed location assumed to be somewhere near the national military prison of, ‘El Mano Sangre’.
Somewhat surprisingly, all of the Santos six children are expected to remain in custody for an indefinite period of time. Apparently the officer-in-charge of the motorcade was especially concerned because the little chupa seemed to be unwilling to feed on anything but the Santos childrens’ necks.
Not to worry, though, because Mr. & Mrs. Santos have been told the kids will be given a special diet and checked, daily, by El Presidente's own personal physician! The family has been invited to stop by the prison to visit with the children and, as soon as it's ready, pick up their 30,000,000 peso check!
Unknown to the soldiers, though, the family’s old Brownie Instamatic camera was not confiscated, and Mr. Santos has been able to sell one snapshot of the little beast taken just before feeding time during the third day of its capture. This same photo will be out in next week’s issue of the, ‘National Tattletale’; but, you aren’t going to have to wait!
All I can say is, ‘This is one ugly little sucker!’ The Santos family says they plan on spending the reward on their first automobile - a nice new, ‘Hummer’ like the one Jose saw in an old outhouse magazine; and although it’s not exactly a problem, right now, sometime before the advent of next January’s rainy season, he, also, wants to repair the farmhouse roof.
El Senor Juan-Diego Almendoza, the Palace Minister of Information, plans to release an official statement announcing this historical capture later in the week.
Pictures don’t lie; so, here ya go!
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b57/From_ArcAngel/BabyAye-Aye.jpg
Absolutely amazing – Isn’t it!
;)