View Full Version : Can people really change?
lucille
07-08-2006, 03:21 PM
I have friends that go back more than 30 years. They are older now, and a bit wiser perhaps, but otherwise pretty much the same people they were years and decades ago when I first met them.
Sometimes, people attempt to change who and what they are.
Every once in a while, those put in prison choose to try to travel the right road from then on and become law abiding citizens.
Sometimes people who have relationship problems, who are on the verge of divorce, vow they will try anew so that the relationship will succeed.
People 'get religion' and devote their lives to following the precepts of that religion.
Sometimes, because of a major life event such as a birth of a child, people who never tried very hard before get the incentive to go forth and really make something of themselves.
Does this last? In your opinion, are we what we are born to be, or can we make fundamental and lasting changes to who we really are?
Randy
07-08-2006, 06:00 PM
Speaking for myself, I say yes, its possible to change. I did a 180. It's like I am looking back on a different really unpleasant person.
Some people change cosmetically, but remain the same on the inside. Get them off guard and they revert to their previous selves.
Some people wont change, ever. Not even a pretense of change. Their words mean nothing, believing them will cost you.
.02
Flinter
07-09-2006, 01:10 AM
It's possible.
Lord knows I've changed over the years. I used to be given to drinking and fighting......chasing loose women.
I never fight anymore, hardly ever drink.
My son brought the change about in me.
Garand
07-09-2006, 09:40 AM
Two things cause change in a person, the first events and experiences that happen to a person. The second, the desire to change as a result of those experiences. I know that I have changed over the years.
Gecko45
07-09-2006, 10:00 AM
Just about everyone changes. The only ones who never change are the ones that never learn anything.
DaRkWoLf
07-09-2006, 12:32 PM
Two things cause change in a person, the first events and experiences that happen to a person. The second, the desire to change as a result of those experiences. I know that I have changed over the years.
I can definately agree with that.
I think that people can change but it must be something from within that starts it. Many times people have to mold me into what they thought I should be and I have successfully resisted. My changes, the ones for the better, have always come from realizing that I wasn't living to my full potential both in personal and business relationships. That and I realized that doing for others was more rewarding than always getting it for myself.
RIKA
brass hammer
07-10-2006, 04:21 AM
oh,YES ! a man can change!,,,sometimes I really wish I was running a 'line' in the montana winter,,,,BY MYSELF!,,,,ALASKA? **** ! that gets cold/stays cold fer' a bit long fer' my likin'.,,,regardless
I'M LOVING MY LIFE DAILY.
[ :wavey:]
krept
07-10-2006, 04:02 PM
kind of going on what Gecko said, i think that for the vast majority change is inevitable. i used to pride myself on introspection and as much as i anticipated how great my life and paradigm would change with the birth of my son, i completely underestimated how deep of an impact that event had.
as to the change being permanent, I suppose it depends on both the importance of the event and how long you live :)
gripper
07-10-2006, 07:53 PM
Change is a type of learning...the day you stop learning you start dying.Kinda like hope,or possibilities;you gotta have SOMETHING to urge you on.
Kpdpipes
07-10-2006, 08:43 PM
In the end it depends on whether or not the person WANTS to change. When I started out as a rookie, we had a core of about 30 Hardcore heroin users in town, varying in age from my own (early 20's at the time), into their 40's. One of those was a girl i'll call Patty. Patty was incredibly pretty as a teenager, and really descended into Scag territory when she was using heavt..ended up with Aids, the whole 9 yards. She dropped out of sight about 12 years ago, and we all assumed that she had OD'd somewhere and was dead. Turns out she found whatever key it took for her to change, cleaned herself up, stopped using, got Custody of her daughter back, and id doing really well. Unfortunately she's the minority..in her case she was the 5%'er of that group, the rest are dead now.
gripper
07-10-2006, 09:51 PM
I have an old friend in Lowell...longtime heroin addict.Miraculously,he was negative for HIV until he turned 49.The last time he jailed;he got both HIV and HepatisC in the same load of dope he shot.luckily(really!) he got diagnosed before he got out and did not expose his wife(a nurses aid).
For quite a long time I figured he was in God's waiting room,getting fluid tapped from his liver(inflamed liver complicates HIV,since most meds need liver absorption/metabilism) and the interferon did'nt seem to help.He got pancreatitis.He got emphysema and wound up with his own oxygen tank.He still had his wife buying cartons of smokes at the reservation for him;I half expceted to hear about a fire in Lowell with an oxy burner.
Suprisingly , he is still alive;and in better condition than he was few years ago.Yes he is sick and will die eventually;but he's hanging on. BTW,his son is in the Air Force academy.....I think THAT has kept him clean since this has gone on.
He was one of those guys that even when he was scammin'&jammin" still managed to be a halfway decent sort;so I tend to agree that change IS possible.
brass hammer
07-11-2006, 12:28 AM
all 'i' can add, is about "drug-use/being "****ed-up" in general!
I'VE got a beer-drinkin'bro, [much older] an he "SPURRED" the prettiest 'clutch' of BIG-TITTED GIRLS 'i' ever seen[about 6 i think]
and [1] of them is/was/is a TITTEY-DANCER!!!.
and she's NOT 'fixed" and STILL keeps "****tin'-out little tweeker white boys"
,,,as I was 'almost' close to rasin' -one of them,,,MY-SELF!
[by "MISS COLLEENS" requests!!!,,,and '****-her' ALSO!] :dgrin:
Flinter
07-11-2006, 05:42 PM
In the end it depends on whether or not the person WANTS to change. When I started out as a rookie, we had a core of about 30 Hardcore heroin users in town,
Heroin is the worst.
A good friend of mine got hooked on it a few years back.
Within 3 months he had lost his girl (beautiful blonde), his 30k dollar car, the support of all his friends/relatives, and his job.
5 years and 2 near death OD's later......he's still using.
Kpdpipes
07-11-2006, 08:18 PM
Heroin is the worst.
A good friend of mine got hooked on it a few years back.
Within 3 months he had lost his girl (beautiful blonde), his 30k dollar car, the support of all his friends/relatives, and his job.
5 years and 2 near death OD's later......he's still using.
We had another girl in the same group..few years younger than me..REALLY Drop-dead gorgeous before she started..i'm talking model material.. after a year of using, she was a mess..we found her dead on the side of the railroad tracks one night, spike still in her arm. Of course her mother blamed US for not "Helping her little Angel".
gripper
07-11-2006, 10:28 PM
Having a habit definitely changes your priorities...think of it as a love affair with the worst possible woman...Wille Dixon summed it up best with "I can't quit you,baby"...
It's possible.
Lord knows I've changed over the years. I used to be given to drinking and fighting......chasing loose women.
I never fight anymore, hardly ever drink.
My son brought the change about in me.
Was he the result of the chasing of the aforementioned loose women....which I noticed you didn't claim to have stopped chaising. ;)
Flinter
07-13-2006, 05:54 PM
Was he the result of the chasing of the aforementioned loose women....which I noticed you didn't claim to have stopped chaising. ;)
Yep.
I was pretty wild when I was younger. I was well on my way to alcoholism and probably prison too.
My wife (girlfriend at the time) got pregnant while I was at the height of my intemperance. Yes, he was a direct result of my ways.
When she found out she gave me an ultimatum. Change or leave.
I thank God everyday that I was able to change.
There will always be a special place in my heart for the women of the "loose" variety. I don't know why. :shrugs:
Flinter, you are a strong and honorable man. I salute you.
RIKA
B.FRANKlin
02-06-2007, 11:05 PM
In my lifetime, I feel humbled to say that I have changed some young people's lives for the better. You have to get them when they're young and try to get them to open their eyes and to think before doing something foolish. It didn't work all the time, but the times it did were worth the effort. Even just last year, a girl I met as a teeny-bopper (1970s) found me and said that I had made her and her friends think. She said all of their lives changed for the better after listening to me.
No, my ego's not blown up. But that sure makes me feel good when that happens.
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