Indecision

[tenmillimaster]

Sigh. These past weeks have gotten me thinking about who I want to be.
I won't reveal my real age to anyone, but I'm just about to head off to college.
I withdrew from highschool in my Sophmore year, and I started homeschooling/taking classes at my local community college (I love the campus...And, although I'm a jerk for saying this, I love feeling just a bit smarter than everyone else... I'm the only one with a perfect GPA). It's about time that all my school friends head off to college - And I will, soon, too. I'm graduating a year earlier than them, simply because Texas homeschooling laws are lax ("hands OFF"). There is an extremely good chance that I will get accepted into any public college in Texas, and I have a good shot at getting into any university.

But I don't know where I want to go, because I don't know who I want to be. I believe myself to be talented (but not responsible- that's why I withdrew from homeschooling), and I believe myself to be gifted. Blessed with good intelligence, good parents, and sufficient estate to support higher education.

In Asian American families (I'm only half chinese, but heavy involvement in my chinese church has made me a product of asian-american culture) there is much emphasis on education, and success. Monetary success. If I pursue anything that doesn't entail large houses and a substantial paycheck, I will have to become the best in what I pursue.

Either I become a doctor, or I get a PhD, the reasoning goes. But I don't know which I want to do. I cannot simply pick any school...

From my friends at church, I have not received any pressure. From their parents, there has not been any expectation. I know that this is all in my head, but if I do not succeed, my alternative highschooling will have failed me, in their eyes.

[RIKA]

What are the three things that interest you the most (not the things that would make you the most money but the ones that would make you feel most fulfilled as a person). Now list your three greatest talents. If you can enumerate these then you will be much closer to making a decision.

RIKA

[MileHighSailor]

I think that people should follow what's in their heart, not the giant paycheck. Granted, more money can potentially make life easier, but money can't buy true happiness. I'm 31 years old and I walked away from a law enforcement career to go back to school. I was making a pretty decent living, but I wasn't happy anymore. I would rather have to scrimp and save and live check to check for the time being than to have a good paycheck and hate the man in the mirror. I agree with Rika, sit down and do some soul searching. You say you are involved in church, pray about it. Take the time to find a goal that will honor who you really are, not how much you'd like to make. Have you thought about the military? A three or four year hitch will provide you with experience, three hots and a cot, a little bit of money, tuition assistance, and more than a little bit of direction......it just might help with that responsibility deficiency you mentioned. No matter what you choose, be true to yourself and ignore what those around you want....after all, it's your life and you are the one who has to live with the long-term consequences of any decision you make.

[krept]

I can give you a little insight from my point of view, but first I do agree with the above posts.

I have not yet found a good balance between a career and all of my hobbies. I have accepted that 40 hours of each week are going to be doing something that really isn't on my top ten list of things to do. What makes it easier is choosing a good cause to work towards. I chose the environment, and work for the government with both contractors and regulators to get state lands clean.

When I'm at work, I am at peace with myself because I know I am making the place gradually better. I think this is very important to consider; if you cannot find harmony between work and your hobbies, then champion a positive cause such as medicine, law, engineering, etc.

What I can say, however, that the single greatest and most satisfying role that I have ever had in life is being a father and building a family. In all honesty, I was in chaos before my son was born, but still getting things done. After I got married and my son was born, the pieces of the puzzle all came together.

In retrospect, I realize that I spent a lot of time trying to define myself according to the world, instead of simply being myself and accepting how the world wishes to define me.

cheers

[brass hammer]

I''ve [2] friends IN this world,,,BOTH, 'half-chink"/NAMED 'walley',,,THAT ARE
CHINIESE!!!!,,, and both those ****ers are COOL-DUDES!

PRESS-ON! 'millie'. :wavey:

[tenmillimaster]

Thanks guys. I'll get to thinking more about what I love doing.

And If I cannot excel in those areas... I will do what I have to do.

RIKA, I love three things. Singing(in a praise setting), Writing, and Photography.
Three things I'm good at? Writing, Singing, and Game Mechanics.

[RIKA]

Tenmil, I can't help you with singing because I can't carry a tune in a bucket; the cats run away. :D

For writing, start it now; the sooner the better. Start writing articles, short stories, even a novel. Stuff you know about and like. Send accompanying photos; they love pics. If you want to write for a magazine, write them and request a copy of their writers guidelines. Whatever you do, use your best communication skills and your best grammar; you will be judged by the material of yours that they read.

Sounds like you have a start. Let us know how you progress.

RIKA :)