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Well, Jaws, while I agree with your stand, the writing needs some polishing. Perhaps do more to tie-in those three important colors instead of stating "of many colors".
The imagery of fish eating their innards while I walk on their back is roughly hewn. The fish are hard to identify with American (North American, anyway,) symbology. What if, instead, a Bald Eagle picks the lifeless eyes from their skulls which I have hoisted on a the flagstaff where Old Glory yet waves...?
Well you asked, at least I didn't say "that's neat".
SatCong
 
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