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I can just see Melvin downing a can of Red Bull thinking it'll be just like the commercial then trying to sling 150+lbs of gear and beef.
Promptly landing on his ass and rupturing several other discs in his already jacked up back. Then screaming as load a tornado siren.

I can just imagine about a few days later his body on display at a remote crossroads, mounted Vlad III style, with a sign saying- Warning: This is how we handle murderers and thieves!

With a couple of buzzards staggering around puking from eating his pharmaceutical infused flesh.
 
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