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Man Jokes!!!

1K views 1 reply 1 participant last post by  Glenn Bartley 
G
#1 ·
And here are some more ladies....I know there are a few on here.

OK LADIES HERE WE GO......

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?

(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

5. WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS?

(because they don't have penises to put them in)

6. WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON?

(they're intended for children, but men usually play with them)

7. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

( because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

8. WHY DO MEN MASTURBATE?

(it is sex with someone they love)

9. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

10. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

11. WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE?

(so he can tell if he's coming or going)

12. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know...... it never happened)
 
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#2 ·
OK, I'll go along with this, being pretty relaxed with my masculinity I can take a good man joke or two, so I though I would give you gals: ONE for the WOMEN; it may help some of you gals to explain a lot of things!!!!



The nice men are ugly.

The handsome men are not nice.

The handsome and nice men are gay.

The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

The handsome men without money are after our money.

The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

The men, who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ....WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
 
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