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Man what a crappy day, cold and blustery, but I refuse to be stuck inside so I went outside and had some fun. I had been thinking about building some Double Trouble target stands for our (the club) Steel Challenge collection so I went to the shop and did some work. While I was at it, I had an idea for a really cool drill. Before I took the stands back to the range I swung by my house and grabbed my video camera, a tripod and some shooting gear. Please keep in mind this post is meant to be satirical, but there are also a few elements of shooting involved so I am posting here instead of the humor forum.

I have named my shooting drill the Bozo Tard Drill. Bozo is for the inventor and Tard is for the inspiration. In order shoot the Bozo Tard Drill you need the official target. The official target is the middle aged fat guy target herein referred to as MAFG. The target consists of an 18X24 rectangular Steel Challenge plate with a 12 inch round Steel Challenge plate directly above the rectangle. The MAFG is placed 7 yards from the shooting position. I chose steel so the competitor will have the satisfaction of hearing the hit "ring". While not as gratifying as the sound of a bullet thumping into blubber, the ring will suffice for fulfilling even the most morbid of fantasies. I chose the 18X24 size because that fairly represents the beer gut on most middle aged fat guys. Even though I have smaller targets, I chose a 12 inch head to represent an inflated ego. These sizes are so generous as to make the drill incredibly simple while giving the illusion to the uninformed observer that you might actually need to be able to shoot in order to do this drill quickly.

The rules are simple. The MAFG is set at 7 yards, so wear those safety glasses. The competitor must shoot the drill cold. Therefore, you need to pick a really crappy day. I shot the drill this morning. The air temperature was 28 degrees F. and the wind was ripping. I barely finished before the blizzard hit. Once again, you must be freezing your ass off in order to prove you shot the drill cold. If your fingers are not numb, you aren't even trying.

You must draw without concealment. That's right, even though you are freezing your butt off, you must remove your perfectly good coat and draw from open carry. The holster must be worn at the point of the hip. You may not wear the holster behind the hip. The holster must also be made of plastic. The leather slap days are long gone. This is the era of the plastic slap. The handgun must be a single stack 1911 in .45 caliber. The pistol must have been rendered unsuitable for use by the addition of a cheesy little magazine well, or an extended mag release, or a fiber optic pin in the front sight, or any combination of the above. The load can not be military ball ammo. You must shoot a load with a power factor between 165 and 175. Hand position is in the IPSC surrender position with both wrists above their respective shoulders because mall ninjas and wannabe operators hate that position with a passion.

On the tone, you must draw, fire two rounds into the lower plate, then transition to the top plate and hit it with one round. Make up shots are not allowed. You must shoot at least five strings without a warm up, no dry fire, no sight picture, no nothing. Or, if you don't mind freezing your butt, you can shoot until you are ankle deep in brass. For the wimps, you can stay home where it's warm and lie about your score. The first shot must be in excess of .65 seconds even though any top hand can ring that steel COM very easily in .65 seconds. This is easy to do, trust me. Anyone can take longer than .65 seconds to react, draw, fire and hit the plate. Subsequent shots can be fired as quickly as you want, or you may savor the moment and take your time.

My first run with my Baer (I posted a pic in another thread) featured a draw of 1.04, a .15 split and a .18 transition. Run 2 was a 1.02 draw, .14 split, and a .19 transition. Three was a 1.02 draw, .16 split and a .17 transition. Number 4 was a .96 draw, .15 split, and a .19 transition. I went for broke on the last run and hit a .87 draw, .13 split and a .17 transition. I have the entire episode on tape. I am not a video wizard, but I transferred the first run to my computer, ran it through Windows Movie Maker saving it as a .wmv for broadband. Here's the link.


The Bozo Tard Drill
 

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Excellent.
 

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Hey cool, how 'bout that, pictures and all!

Nice shootin Ankeny!
 

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Gotta love it, but I wonder if I should be offended by the MAFG target - LOL!

If you are shooting at steel for real, I just have to say one thing, don't be shooting anything but frangible ammo especially made for target shooting at any distance that close. I recommend at least 10 to 15 yards with any jacketed ammo. Yes it is far off, but I have been cut several times even at those distances by fragments of the jacket. Small cuts indeed, but if one ever goes around the shooting glasses you could be in serious trouble if it actually lands in the eye. It would not even need any power behind it such as if it lands on the eye and you blink; those fragments can be quite sharp.

Other than that note, I was laughing my behind off, I love the whole idea.
 

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Always check the distance recommended by the ammo manufacturer.......
 

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Ankeney, where are you? This sounds like Alaska for this time of year. I sure do like the term, MAFG. You need to add the MAFG has a bad back to and is on welfare.
 

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Hey it's +32F here today, and I still managed to go shooting this weekend. Don't be a wussie!
 
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