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SOMETHING TO OFFEND DAMN-NEAR EVERYBODY

1. What's the Cuban national anthem?
Row, Row, Row Your Boat

2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

4. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

5. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.

6. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.

7. What do you call an Arkansas farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

8. Why do drivers' education classes in ******* schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

9. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

10. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!

11. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all isn't gonna believe this sh!t..."

12. 100 years ago when 100 white men chased 1 black man across a field,we called it a Ku Klux Klan rally.
Today they call it the PGA TOUR.

13. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
 
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