The Gatesmobile
G
For all Windows lovers and haters: 
The Gatesmobile
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept
up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating, "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they painted new lines on the road, you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before
you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought
"CarNET," but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but it
would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all
be replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.
8. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.
10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately
cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
Department.
11. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in
the same manner as the old car.
12. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off!
The Gatesmobile
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept
up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating, "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they painted new lines on the road, you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before
you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought
"CarNET," but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but it
would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all
be replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.
8. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.
10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately
cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
Department.
11. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in
the same manner as the old car.
12. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off!
