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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
News Anchor Dan Rather, The Reverend Jesse Jackson,
NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts, and an American Marine
were hiking through the jungle one day when they were
captured by cannibals.

They were tied up, led to the village and brought
before the chief.

The chief said, "I am familiar with your western
custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before
we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one
last bowlful of hot, spicy chili." The chief nodded to
an underling, who left and returned with the chili.
Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life
I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the poor and
oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing "We Shall
Overcome" one last time." The chief said, "Go right
ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and
then said, "Now I can die in peace."

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want
to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene
here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday
someone will hear it and know that I was on the job
'til the end." The chief directed an aide to hand over
the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments.
She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what
is your final wish?" "Kick me in the ass," said the
Marine. "What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in
your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the
ass," insisted the Marine.

So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him
in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to
his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from his waistband, and
shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he
leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and
sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the
cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him,
"Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask the
chief to kick you in the ass?"

"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you a**holes call
ME the aggressor?!?"

· Premium Member
1,120 Posts
The best laugh I have had in quite some time. This goes right out to some guys I knew who were (are) Marines!

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