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A Letter To Management From The Penis:


Dear Management,

Subject: wants a raise

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.



Management's Response To The Penis'

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management



Rebuttal By The Penis

Dear Management;

I beg to differ, with your reasons for your rejection of my request. Please see below for my point by point rebuttal of your reasoning:

M: You do not work 8 hours straight.
P : You would whine, whimper and cry if I did.

M: You fall asleep after brief work periods.
P : I'm not sleeping, simply resting my "eye"

M: You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
P : Management should lead by example and be able to carry out any orders given itself. Of this management seems incapable at best; and management never knows what it is doing anyway!

M: You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
P : There nothing more exciting than visiting new and exotic places.... Nothing like a trip to the "outback"

M: You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
P : Everyone likes to be "stroked" once in-a-while, and everyone sometimes needs a gentle push.

M: You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
P : Clean-up wasn't in my job description when I entered the position...

M: You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
P : Don't you think Steel "tips" would hurt? And besides it is management's place to assure that workers are properly equipped!

M: You will retire well before you are 65.
P : I'm only getting warmed up... the retirement age has risen, and so shall I....

M: You are unable to work double shifts.
P : Only because you are to tired to stick around and manage a second shift. I'm always looking for overtime…

M: You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
P : It's not the equipment (being me the Penis), but rather you the operator (the management) who is tired and worn out and therefor unable to drive forward. The operator is in need of something to restore his drive therefore making him better able to keep me driven in place without a need for me to pull out of the work area.

M: And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
P : Note I leave by both the backdoor and front door, and sometimes by the over-HEAD exit, with them. As I come and go, I always let leave them exposed. You may feel free to examine them at anytime you care to do so. Hopefully you will find no suspicious objects enclosed…

Sincerely,
With Head Held High
The Penis
 

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Reminds me of my first day in college philosophy class. The professor proudly and loudly announced a universal truth: "An erect penis has no conscience."

Shocked looks from all the students - including me. But very, very true.

RIKA :D
 

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man , that was FUNNY!
i was laughing the whole time reading it! :beer: :laugh: :roflmao1: :laugh01:
 
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